mindwanderings

I tend to stay up really late at night until morning, knowing full well that I have to get up early the next day. There’s something about the quietness of the dorms and the world outside that puts me in peace at 3:00 am. I usually vow to change this habit of mine when I am feeling drowsy, tired, and weary the following day but I never stick to it. Or maybe I know that I don’t want to give up something that I usually cannot get anytime else. I’ve tried being completely nocturnal but it’s really odd, according to those peers who live around me, who’s lives happen during the day. I guess it would be like choosing friends over sleep. Yeah, that’s a toughie.

What exactly do I do, you ask? Oh, there are endless things to do! I usually read or attempt to write in my journal, write letters, at times draw, and maybe one day — I’ll bust out the whole paint supply and go crazy. The feeling is just as if one is free and open; there are no restrictions. I have tried confronting myself about this situation, and it seems to me that solitude helps me to think. I can not only reflect on the past day, but I can hear myself think versus being around sound that often distracts me. Or maybe it’s just that! Maybe I get distracted easily…hmm. What were we talking about again?

I will change my habit because I am not getting enough sleep. I know this because all I think about during class is how much I want to drop down on my bed and be wrapped up in my blanket. I need to change not only because I don’t feel well with my lack of sleep, but looking at my health long-term, this cannot be good for me. I mean, I know what bad things are. Bad things are living off Vitamin Water and Nutrigrain for a whole month, and nothing more. I lost 5 pounds, which I didn’t need to in the first place. Bad things are living off Diet Green Tea for a whole month in high school because it was a friggin’ bet to see how much weight we can lose. I look back now, and these choices were absolutely stupid. I definitely do not take care of myself. Well, at least I excercise.

Although I enjoy being up around and about while everyone is shut-eyed, I know that I can easily do the things I do at 3:00 am, at 3:00 pm. It’s just a matter of location, location, location. I need to start taking better care of myself soon or else I won’t live to see the next morning.