mindwanderings

Today, I walked by the quad on the way to the Admin. Building and listened to the sound of drums beating and saw people dancing in the grass. It seemed like an African tribal dance and it awed me. I watched all the people passing me by on the walkway and thought of how everyone seemed to be going somewhere; always moving, always pushing forward. I remembered Lovefest and thought of how there is no other city that I know of that would be as open as this place. I wondered if I’ll miss this place if I whole heartedly decide to move away.

Although I did just move to SF from San Diego, I don’t think I’ll be staying here throughout my college years. I’m interested in moving to Oregon not only for the change in surrounding, but for school. My family has been thinking about moving there to settle on a lake, and I think it would be a great experience to see something different than what I have known all my life. Namely, it’s the city.

Maybe it’s because I’m not “open” enough to the world around me; I should embrace what comes to me at the moment. Although Lovefest was amazing as it was, I wasn’t completely surprised and shocked. I’m thinking it’s because I expected it to be crazy and wild, and so when that prophecy came true, that lessened my bewilderment.

The thought of sitting out on a lake with the sun setting behind me sounds wonderful. It’s definitely a change from the fast paced city life and the crowded streets. I am okay with either one, though sometimes I wish I could remove myself for a second to listen to the waters move in and out along the shoreline. I visited the countryside of Illinois when I was 15 and was completely awed by the openness of life there. I saw the sky extend to the sun and stars that glistened against the dark night. It was an eye opening experience for me because I have never realized that there was life outside of the city. Many times, I yearn to be back on Lake Vermillion in South Dakota, lying on the ground, staring at the shooting stars above.

It’s funny how I wanted to be in SF for the sole purpose of improving on my writing (and gain some skills) but I don’t seem to be working on that. I think my goals of why I am here is foggy, just like the air around the city sometimes. The thing is, one could be a great writer anywhere; it’s how one can open himself up and write, letting the reader see through his eyes.

Either way, I will be okay wherever I go. Whether it is Oregon, South Dakota, or California, I’m sure I can find my place and make it feel like home. I don’t know where I’ll end up in a couple of years, but all I want to focus on right now is opening myself up to new experiences. With new places to see all the time and people coming and going, it’s hard not to feel a sense of appreciation for the beauty of life, no matter where you are at.

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