mindwanderings

Do you expect me not to cry when my love leaves me to go back home? It’s always so hard holding the tears in, especially when I see his car drive away. I can’t even type this without feeling a sense of pain within me. Life seems empty and sad when he is not around. I feel a great loss, and it hurts. Whenever I have to say goodbye, it is like breaking up each time. My heart drops, and the tears fill my eyes. I don’t know what to tell you. I miss him so much.

I’ve always told myself that I am independent and I don’t want to let anyone get too close to me for fear that I would leave in the spur of the moment. I know that all of that is wrong; not only do I feel attached to him, but to me, he is my world and I can’t imagine life without him. I love him dearly and wish that I could always be with him.

To someone else reading this, it might all seem like a bunch of hooey, but it’s real to me and it hurts badly. This past week was one of the best weeks of my life and the only thing I would’ve done differently is kiss him more, tell him I love him more, and just wrap my arms tighter around him.

I have Christmas to look forward to when we will drive home together. This will be the longest wait for me, but all of it will be worth it once I see his smiling face again.

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